We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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