Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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