I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
