chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
