I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
