how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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