I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
