Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
