Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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