I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
