I'm gonna have a badass scar
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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