So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
