Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
