I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
