So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
