How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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