Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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