please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
do nipples grow back?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
