went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
