I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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