I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
