she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Welp...herpes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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