And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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