if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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