Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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