Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize