Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
