i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
tequila makes me forget i have legs
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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