I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
