was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
