you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
