she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
