I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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