Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
