I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
