something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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