I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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