She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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