Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
