cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize