hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
