Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
