DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
