I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
