I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you win again, gameday.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
