According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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