Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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