I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
