I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
