nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
