it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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