just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
