you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
