Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
