but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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