How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
