dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
